You don’t want to be an angry mom. (I don’t either).

You don’t want to believe the lie that it’s “too late” to change. (I don’t either).

But most days it feels hopeless. A pattern of angry reactions fills your interactions. The script of misbehavior-yelling-guilt-shame seems etched in stone.

Thankfully, today’s guest, Amber Lia, brings grace and truth. She gently helps you turn from those hurtful habits. And points you to Biblical responses to replace those angry reactions.

Amber co-authored (with Wendy Speake) the book “Triggers: Exchanging Parent’s Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses”. Today she and I talk through the role we play in negative parenting moments. We also consider several typical anger “triggers”: disobedience, disrespect, sibling rivalry, special needs, and strong wills. 

Personally, our conversation altered my perspective. Considering trigging moments as opportunities to train, instead of frustrating failures. Like Amber said, “There is nothing anger can do that love can’t do better.” When there is a character flaw or misbehavior, my role is to train them with love. Recognizing an angry response never leads to heart level repentance or lasting change.

Connect with Amber (& Wendy):

A former high school English teacher, Amber is a work-at-home mom of 3 little boys under the age of 8. She and her husband Guy own Storehouse Media Group, a faith-friendly and family-friendly TV and Film production company in Los Angeles, CA. When she’s not building sand castles with her boys on the beach, or searching for Nerf darts all over her house, you can find Amber writing to encourage families on her blog at Mother of Knights.

Wendy Speake is a trained actress and heartfelt Bible teacher. She tells stories both on page and stage that allow her to point women toward Jesus on their hardest mothering days. You can follow along at WendySpeake.com or find her regularly as a guest at The MOB Society. Wendy resides in sunny San Diego with her handsome husband and their three ruddy boys.

What we chat about:

• The shame and guilt we feel over pattern of anger and yelling.
• Why there is no “quick fix” formula to stop yelling.
• Recognizing what triggers our angry responses.
• The role we play in slowing down and quieting contention.
• Starting with self-examination, asking God to reveal what needs to change.
• Asking yourself: “What is my anger about? personal needs not met or child’s sin?”
• When your parents yelled at you and you don’t know any different.
• Not letting our slip-ups keep us from change.
• When disobedience triggers your anger.
• How Jesus handled the disrespect shown Him.
• When sibling rivalry triggers your anger, recognizing it’s an opportunity to teach problem solving.
• Help for the mom whose child has special needs/issues.
• Casting vision over our kids with the strongest wills and hardest misbehavior.
• When our schedules add stress to life and push out grace and training.
• The significance of apologizing to our children when we lash out in anger.

Links Mentioned:

• No More Angry MOB Facebook group
• Anger Management, Hollywood & Sacrificial Faith (Amber Lia–Ep 75)
• The MOB Society
• Triggers book
• Proverbs 15:18 “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.”
• September McCarthy–Ep 15
• Vicki Kraft–Ep 73 & Ep 74

How to listen to the podcast:

1.Listen on the blog. Click through to GodCenteredMom.com and click the play button at the beginning of this post.

2. Listen on your smartphone, iPad or iPod Touch – There are a lot of great podcasting apps. Apple has a free one (that I mentioned) in the app store, there is also one called Downcast. It allows you to search for shows, subscribe to them and even speed up the audio. If you don’t have an iDevice, you can listen via Stitcher.

3. Subscribe to the Podcast – access the podcast in iTunes (Click here to access via iTunes). You can also search for it on your smartphone app (like the ones listed above) and subscribe.