Breaking Up with Perfect :: Amy Carroll {Ep 92}

October 19, 2015 | 19 comments

Numb. Isolated. Exhausted. Unlovable.

If you’ve ever strived for perfection, then you know how it feels when you fall short.

Maybe you aren’t the one carrying a list of all you “need to do to earn God’s love.” But more the type who carries a “Never Good Enough List with all the reasons you’ll never be able to earn His love.”

Either way, Amy Carroll, (author, speaker, Proverbs 31 contributor) is on the podcast this week helping us break up with perfect.

This topic arrived perfectly after last week’s grace-filled message from Jeannie Cunnion. Because in order to give our children grace we have to grasp it for ourselves.

In this episode (and in her new book), Amy helps us recognize the lies we have been believing and the Truth to set us free.

Lies like: “I was created to produce perfection” or “People are obstacles to my tasks” or “If I have the right stuff, my life will be perfect.”

My favorite quote from our conversation was:

Only when I end my own pursuit of perfection can God do a perfecting work in me. –Amy Carroll

 May you experience a supernatural freedom from the struggle to be perfect. May your friendships deepen, your family be strengthened and your awareness of God’s love grow as you stop striving and surrender to His gentle heart work.

Connect with Amy:

Breaking Up with Perfect :: Blog :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Pinterest 

What we chat about:

  • The events making Amy aware of her perfectionism
  • The impact a mentor had in Amy’s journey to lose the list of perfect
  • The supernatural work God did on Amy to break the shell around her heart, to feel His love
  • The two perfect super moms in Amy’s head–torn between two ideals.
  • The destruction of friendship when perfectionism enters.
  • The different types of perfectionists and their lists: good girl list or the never-good-enough list
  • The possibility of passing on perfectionism to our kids.

Links Mentioned:

**Amazon Affiliate Link

How to listen to the podcast:

1.Listen on the blog. Click through to and click the play button at the beginning of this post.

2. Listen on your smartphone, iPad or iPod Touch – There are a lot of great podcasting apps. Apple has a free one (that I mentioned) in the app store, there is also one called Downcast. It allows you to search for shows, subscribe to them and even speed up the audio. If you don’t have an iDevice, you can listen via Stitcher.

3. Subscribe to the Podcast – access the podcast in iTunes (Click here to access via iTunes). You can also search for it on your smartphone app (like the ones listed above) and subscribe.

**Check out this page for instructions on how to leave a rating or review on 


  1. Kim Huitt

    Hello! You dialed my number and I guess we need to chat. Ouch. Thank you for this podcast. Trying to be like everyone at the same time is impossible. When will the real me stand up or sit down or just plain shut up. Haha. It’s good to not take ourselves too seriously. Love the podcasts!

  2. Kristina

    Amazing podcast! I have been struggling with this big time! I get so bored with my 15 month old and I feel so guilty and I fill it in with social media. I just don’t know what to do in this time of my life to serve God with my little one.

  3. Nicole Lawrence

    This was a most excellent discussion. I very much appreciated Amy’s honesty in discussing a topic that many mom’s struggle with but don’t often speak of. Thanks for reminding us that we need to rest in God’s love rather than work for it.

  4. ksieber2014

    I loved this podcast. I totally related to this discussion, particularly the part about the hard shell around our hearts. I had not realized it was there until God broke through it at a retreat I attended a few months ago. I was also pierced with the statement about feeling like people are obstacles in the way of accomplishing our tasks. I didn’t realize it, but this is totally me! Thanks again for this podcast and pointing us in the direction of some great resources.

  5. Kim Long

    What a struggle fighting perfection; thanks for your encouragement.

  6. JR

    I was touched and encouraged by your visit with Heather/Ann that I ordered the book the same day. It is totally my challenge.

    • carroller4

      JR, you’re the winner of the Mom Package from my blog. I promise it isn’t even because you ordered my book, but that makes me happy too. I picked a number in my head before I came to Heather’s site, and you’re IT! Would you email your mailing address to me at, and I’ll pop your package into the mail. Congratulations!

  7. Lenoir

    Thanks for sharing. What a timely encouragement as the holidays approach!

  8. Debi

    I love the name of your website: That says it all about who you are. Thank you for sharing.

  9. Marie B

    Thank you for the podcast. I can relate to the breaking of the shell around the heart to feel God’s love. My husband and I were serving in this controlled ministry. At the beginning we didn’t know it, but my eyes started to open to things that weren’t God’s Word. I felt like I was not doing good enough no matter how hard I tried. The teaching was striving and striving to do more. I thought that family and other things doesn’t matter to God only serving God in the ministry that matter. I cried to God for for a long time to open the door for my husband to get a full time job because at the ministry we didn’t get paid. We were getting more and more in debt. The Lord revealed to me that that was not His heart to be in debt and that the job was coming and to trust Him. Praise God that He opened a door for a full time job for my husband and we had relocated. I understood now that I do not have to strive to earn His love and acceptance. Jesus did it all for us. His grace is sufficient for us. His love is unconditional.

  10. Pam S

    this podcast was meant for me! with 3 kids & having been in the struggle to try to be perfect my entire life, i would feel like such a failure when my kids acted like kids instead of being “perfect” in my eyes. God has revealed so much to me about leaning into Him & resting in His grace, not only for my kids, but also for me!

  11. Erika

    What a measure of freedom. There was just a weight lifted listening and being reminded of truth. I can quit striving and simply trust in him and allow him to work in me!! Thank you!

  12. Stephanie Schiefer

    This discussion described me. I was reminded of a scripture bracelet I have with the verse Ps 46:10 engraved “Be still and know that I am God”.

  13. Pam

    I thoroughly enjoyed and so NEEDED to hear this podcast. I recently ordered Amy’s book breaking up with perfect bc God has convicted my heart to work this out in my life. I am experiencing burn out with a career I love and I know it’s bc I keep trying to do it in my own strength. He will help me realize He loves me messes and all!

  14. Valerie

    Really needed this today. We’ll need it every day!

  15. Sharon C.

    The different kinds of perfectionists and their lists. I’ve felt both lists from good girl to not good enough. Mostly the not good enough list. I leave the 8th of Nov. to go to CA and put into practice everything I learned last week. I just don’t know where I’m going to start when I get there. Relying on the Holy Spirit to guide me. I was told the wrong concept of what I was supposed to be that I always said I was a perfectionist in a flub body. That’s a terrible thing to say to myself. No wonder my self esteem is down. Need prayer on this. Thanks.

  16. Rachel

    Great topic & something I have been struggling to work on for months now!! I would have so much peace if I could gain some freedom from perfectionism! I can’t wait to read Amy’s book! The statement “people are obstacles in the way of my tasks” is definitely me & something I’m working on!

  17. Jaelen

    Yes, I too needed to hear this podcast. Thank you for sharing it with us! Just recently the Holy Spirit gently spoke to me that the reason I am so angry with my kids is because I’m a perfectionist. I definitely don’t want to pass this on to my daughter who I think may be starting to show some signs. Help! I need to trade in the perfectionistic attitude with “it is good enough” and “I’m happy you’re doing your best”. I’m learning to “let go and let God” do His perfecting work in me. I also want to release a spirit of pride and know that in humility God will take care of everything. It’s His work in me for His glory!

  18. Shawna

    Perfection is something we think we want but do not need! Thank you for the reminder!


  1. Breaking Up with Perfect for Moms – Amy Carroll - […] The God Centered Mom podcast–“Breaking Up with Perfect in Motherhood” […]

Pin It on Pinterest