After 9 years of struggling with his strong-willed son, today's podcast guest, Kirk Martin, heard God ask:
What if your son is made like that on purpose? What if by trying to change his behavior you are frustrating My purposes for him? What if the key to changing your son's behavior is to change your behavior?
What a concept? Turning my control issues from my kids towards myself. Disconnecting my mom worth from my boys' performance (reminds me of the whole "Let him be a jerk" lesson)
I love Kirk's realistic approach to parenting. He understands what your home dynamics are like. And gives practical tips. After listening to today's episode you will have at least three different "tricks" to apply.
Most of all, I'm thankful for the new perspective he has given me. Kirk helped me recognize how emotionally invested I was in my boys' behavior and freed me from the need to regulate their behavior for them.
The last couple days I've enjoyed the boys more. I'm also less tense and frustrated when we are out in public. In fact, I may need to go back and listen to this episode more than once, so it sticks!
What we chat about:
Kirk's realization that he needed to focus on his own behavior and stop trying to fix his son's strong-willed behavior.
The switch he made from training 1500 kids in his home to training parents to calm themselves.
The one thing you can do today to de-escalate a tense situation in your home.
How to calmly handle your child's meltdown
I can only control one person in life, and that's me.
How motion changes emotion--helping little ones calm down b/c they don't know how to "think" their way out.
What to do in the middle of Target aisle 3 when your child freaks out
Handling a tantruming child when his siblings are fighting and another needs help with homework and dinner is cooking (Heather's daily 5 pm reality).
If you don't care enough about yourself, to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually. . .why would anyone else care?
How sometimes parents want good behavior so badly, they are too invested in it and give children too much control.
How to be an impartial giver of wisdom.
Heather's light bulb moment. . .
Write down your emotional triggers & do the opposite of what you normally do.
In this episode I admit one of my emotional triggers. What is one of yours?
How to listen to the podcast:
1.Listen on the blog. Click through to GodCenteredMom.com and click the play button at the beginning of this post.
2. Listen on your smartphone, iPad or iPod Touch – There are a lot of great podcasting apps. Apple has a free one (that I mentioned) in the app store, there is also one called Downcast. It allows you to search for shows, subscribe to them and even speed up the audio. If you don’t have an iDevice, you can listen via Stitcher.
3. Subscribe to the Podcast – access the podcast in iTunes (Click here to access via iTunes). You can also search for it on your smartphone app (like the ones listed above) and subscribe.
*If you missed past episodes, you can listen via iTunes or click on this page of the GodCenteredMom site to find a listing of all the episodes.