On my own…but not alone

March 5, 2012 | God-centered, grace, mothering | 18 comments

My parents leave town today. I would be lying if I said I wasn't terrified of being home alone with 4 kids 6 & under. The enormous amount of needs to meet, souls to nurture, love to give, and stomachs to fill overwhelms me. The only thing that brings me peace is a song of David from His Word.

Last week at my Momheart group we read aloud Psalm 23. I decided to close my eyes while I listened. These familiar words came to life in a new way...

The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want...

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside the still waters.

HE RESTORES MY SOUL.

I pictured myself lying in lush green grass...no longer striving, just soaking in His care. Allowing Him to lead and me to follow. Letting go of control because He is in control.

When I am soul weary from giving all of myself to this noble cause, motherhood, I can run to His ever-able arms and allow Him to restore my soul.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,  I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

Three boys aged 6,4, & 2 have a lot of energy. They each want their own way. Even though it's not really "the valley of the shadow of death"...sometimes it can feel pretty close. I've had those feelings while my parents have been here. Now that I will be on my own, when David cries out "I will fear no evil, for you are with me"...I am comforted to know I'm not alone. 

I am on my own, but I am not alone. He is with me. He is in charge of their hearts. He knows how it all turns out. I can trust Him.

you anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Meeting everyone else's needs requires me to continually pour out. If I am not going to the source I find I have nothing left to give. So I stand under the faucet of Living Water allowing Him to fill me until I overflow. Without time in prayer and His word I am  an empty cup, a desert land with nothing to give.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

all the days of my life,

and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord

forever.

I keep the eternal perspective in mind. Not only is this a season, but this life is just a blip on the screen of all eternity. My goal is to complete the work He has for me so that I may dwell with Him forever. Keeping the eternal destiny in mind gives me hope that these trials are temporary.

Say a prayer for me if you think of me this week:

Pray that I will seek Him during the day. That I will allow Him to shepherd me. That I will rest in His capable arms. To parent the boys just as gently as He parents me. To keep these days in perspective of the whole. To give as much grace as I have been given. 

**This past week I have played the audio version of Psalm 23 on my YouVersion app...I closed my eyes and focused on the picture of lying in green pastures. It prepared my heart to meet with Him each morning.

I hope these pictures...of lying in green pastures, of a gentle & good Shepherd, of your cup overflowing will stick with you throughout the day and this week to bring you encouragement.
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18 Comments

  1. alice

    Joel had to go back to work the day after we brought baby Millie home. The older kids drank capri sun pouches at breakfast lunch and dinner, ate cheese sticks off of paper plates or cereal at most meals.

    You are so right about this Shepherd! Draw strength from Him. I’m praying for you today.

    • Heather MacFadyen

      Thanks Alice! Kept this in my head this week… Appreciate your honesty and vulnerability! When are you writing your book? 😉

  2. SarahBro

    Great perspective. I’m praying for you and asking God to give you so much grace for each day … Especially for yourself! You’re an amazing momma who knows where true strength comes from!

  3. Stephanie Rische

    You are brave and strong and I am proud of you! He is always with you!!

  4. Kathryn Morris

    Love this. Very encouraging..praying for you all week long. You are a wonderful mom.

  5. Leslie

    Beautiful reminder and encouragement! Loved how you used your painting and your own photos. Thank you for this great post. I just listened to it and was encouraged.

  6. createdforjoy

    Praying for you today and blessed by your faith. 🙂

  7. Jennie

    LOVE this..thank you! What a treat to get to see you today and meet sweet sweet baby Knox!

  8. emilyelizabethstone

    Enjoyed starting my day with this. Thank you.

  9. Kristi

    Praying for you friend! Praying He’ll provide some quiet moments, some rest, and smiles throughout the week. You are a fantastic mom!! Love you!

  10. Dawn

    Love that painting, the way you wove the words throughout with the pictures. Beautiful.

  11. thisgalsjourney

    I love this!! I remember all too well that feeling when the parents or in laws left after each baby was born. Praying you find supernatural strength and energy in the shelter of His wings! This was such a beautiful word picture! Thank you for sharing!!

  12. Ramona

    Hang in there!

  13. Cherry

    Beautifully written – I loved this: “So I stand under the faucet of Living Water allowing Him to fill me until I overflow.”

  14. aubreybarela

    I am praying for you! I love how you broke down they psalm and directly applied it to your everyday life, especially the “valley of the shadow of death”! Love that:) I step at a time, you are not alone.
    ~Sidenote: My best friend just had her 4th boy as well. All your boys are very close in age. Her blog is http://www.peekabooglimpses.blogspot.com/ Outside of living very similar lives right now, I think you would both enjoy each others blogs. Just a thought.

    • Heather MacFadyen

      Thanks Aubrey! I’ll definitely check out her blog. Us “4 boy” moms need to stick together!

  15. Toni Price

    Wow! This is a year later but I stumbled across your blog in hopes for some encouragement being this is my first baby. (These kids are hard work!). Thank you for sharing your heart, this was exactly what I needed to hear today. Especially the part where you said He knows how this all turns out, I can trust Him. Yessss!!! So perfect, so true. I don’t have to carry the full weight of my child’s “happiness”, salvation, life fulfillment. He’s in control. It’s like I know that, but today my heart processed it. So anyway, thanks :))

  16. Toni Price

    2 years later…haha! I can count promise 😉

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